Do you know that there are actually two types of people? The first is the one who quits his/her work when they’re scared, in trouble, or finds it difficult. Usually, they are called diffident, the one who lacks confidence. And the other is the one who fears, finds it difficult but still takes action. These people are called confident. But the question is whether they are confident since birth or there is something through which we too can build self-confidence?
Is Self-confidence really Important?
Well, most people think that they lack confidence because they are introverted and shy from birth, and that is why they can never be confident. But this is not true because introverted people also have selective confidence. For example, they don’t feel shy in front of their parents and friends. This shows that they are confident too, but they are not using it properly. That’s why I believe that anyone can become a confident person.
Self-confidence is the most important thing if you want to be successful in your life. And to find out what real success actually means, you should check out What is Real Success and How To Achieve by Eric Barker?
Confidence is a belief in your success, a belief that helps you take action while increasing your self-esteem. So, here I’ll share a few important tips that will help you to build self-confidence.
Top 5tips to build self-confidence:
Let’s get to each in detail and with an example.
Have you ever noticed that when you meet a child, you don’t get nervous, or when you meet a person whom you don’t respect, you will mostly be confident? But as soon as you get in front of people better than you (better in the sense of status, money, or talent), you’ll mostly feel nervous or underconfident. Well, this happens because you compare yourself with others. When you have confidence in front of people inferior to you, then it isn’t true confidence.
Always remember that you are you, and no one can be you. Also, no one is above you, and no one is below you. When you develop this kind of mindset in yourself, then you can build self-confidence.
Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday, Not To Who Someone Else Is Today.Jordan Peterson
Confident Body Language
If I ask you to imagine a confident person, how will he/she be? Well, I think you must have correctly imagined that person. What I am trying to convey here is that body language plays an important role in looking confident. So, if you want to build self-confidence in yourself from now on, you need to change your body language.
Most people say, and you must have heard, that 55% of our communication is through our body language, 38% through our tone of voice, and the remaining 7% through our words. Some gestures that can help you build confidence include walking upright, making eye contact, normal voice, and always having a smile on your face.
Make small Goals and Achieve them.
Something very important that lowers peoples’ confidence, a famous psychologist named it Cognitive Dissonance. He says that if we eliminate this from our lives, we will surely be more authentic and confident than before. Cognitive Dissonance means when you think, feel, and then decide to do something, but your actions don’t meet that. Ultimately, if your thinking differs from your actions, you will end up feeling like a loser and lower your self-confidence.
Making small goals and completing them will help you build self-confidence and will also make you feel like a winner. Here a sense of achievement will help you feel good and confident.
Fake it until You make it
Do you know that having fake self-confidence has more power than giving the right answers? When someone sees a confident person, they overlook their wrong answers, wrong arguments, etc., so people show fake confidence in sales, politics, etc., which helps them a lot in influencing other people. You must have noticed.
So you should also pretend to be a confident person. Despite being fake, always behave like a confident person. This self-fulfilling prophecy will help you build self-confidence. Even psychotherapy says you have to act like a person to become like that person. This isn’t just for saying; it will eventually make you like that person. So, fake it until you make it.
Any type of skill can make you feel confident, but not all the time. For example, a gym instructor may feel confident in the gym while talking to other gym members, but he won’t feel confident when asked to give a speech in front of a crowd, even if the speech involves bodybuilding basics. But developing communication skills will help you almost everywhere. So, you must work on communication skills.
For now, what I’ve seen that helps people build self-confidence is to speak English fluently. From my personal experience, I have found that simply speaking the English language helps people gain a lot of confidence. Many people will disagree with this, but the fact is that English is the most widely spoken language in the world. I respect other languages too, but it’s a fact. So, develop as many skills as you can, and it will ultimately help you build self-confidence.
A Piece Of Advice
First of all, thanks if you’re reading this. Well, if I were, to sum up, all five points together in one line, it would go like this: Nothing to Prove, Everything to Improve. We should always try to improve ourselves instead of trying to prove it to anyone.
Lastly, I’ve shared all of these from different books like The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (Book by Nathaniel Brandon), Presence (Book by Amy Cuddy), The Confidence Gap: From Fear to Freedom (Book by Russ Harris), etc.